#ay

It's because you're like that that you're still a virgin, you know. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #kyo #manga #natsuki-takaya #uotani

Thank God for imminent doomsday. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#doomsday #humor #humor

He lost himself somewhere on the harmless side of lunacy, slightly south of innocuous but definetly north of demented. ↗

— Tony Vigorito

#humor #just-a-couple-of-days #humor

No idea how you figured out the riddle, but you scooped the first prize. Congratulations. You've just won a vacation to a big, relaxing place called a grave. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #vampires #humor

I'll take Classic 69 and semen-swapping for $300 ↗

— Damon Suede

#humor #humor

Since my trips to Earth, I've only managed to assemble a few basics facts about humans, condensing them in to four, overall points: kids got Reese's, teens got recess, adults got recessions, and seniors got receding. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek-mythology #humor #mount-olympus #satire #valentines-day

I was convinced that there was at least a seventy-three percent chance he was gay. I bumped it up from sixty-eight after our third game. Zack showed up wearing a light pink shirt that was tighter than usual. ↗

— Kyle Adams

#humor #humor

I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#humor #manners #philip-marlowe #put-downs #raymond-chandler

When I write after dark", observed Cyril Connolly, "the shades of evening scatter their purple through my prose ↗

— Anne Fadiman

#essays #humor #night #humor

Before I could turn to look up, a voice boomed from the heavens: "What the heck is going on down there? ↗

— Kat Falls

#god #humor #mayor-fife #megaphone #ty