#brick

A blanket could be used to line the walls of the Love Chamber, to soundproof it so that nobody hears you scream.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I love this book like I love a brick and a blanket, which could be used to teach people the value of safe sex. Remember, if you’re going to have safe sex, try not to get locked inside the safe without anybody on the outside knowing the combination.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the amor.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as one ingredient on the greedy Cake of Love. Other ingredients include: Everything.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used like love. But not my love, because my love is more like a blanket.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to reduce the weight of love, by exactly one person. It’s a cold world out there. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always covered with a condom (to keep the flies away). 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Bricks could be used to line the pockets of the politicians, the way the people’s money once was, as we drop them off to search for Atlantis.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #money

A brick could be attached to a parachute and tossed out of an airplane, to test if it opens up properly. Well, the good news is the parachute worked as planned, but the bad news is the only other parachute on board is strapped to my back, and I’m afraid you’re going to have to return to your seat, buckle up, and assume the crash position. And while it may not be as useful as a functioning parachute, here’s a Rosary to aid you in your prayers. Also, before I jump out of the plane, I just remembered that I owe you a lot of money. Can I write you a check?
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange