#cas

I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid. ↗

— Josephine Angelini

#love #lucas #humor

He smiled at that, and then his gaze shifted to a spot over my shoulder and it faded. 'These doubts wouldn’t have anything to do with the company you’re keeping of late, would they?' I didn’t get a chance to answer before the shop door was thrown open and a furious war mage stomped in. Pritkin spotted me and his eyes narrowed. 'You shaved my legs?!' Mircea looked at me and folded his arms across his chest. I looked from one unhappy face to the other and suddenly remembered that I had somewhere else to be. ↗

— Karen Chance

#fiction #humor #romance #supernatural #vampire

I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-" "It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#retort #sarcasm #stubborn #superpower #humor

YES. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL. LIKE A SUAVE THING. In fact, from here on, please forward my mail to 1 Suave Hill, Suave Boulevard, Suavieland, Planet of She's-So-Smooth-I-Can't-Believe-She's-Not-Butter. ↗

— Michele Jaffe

#sarcasm #humor

The most temptation I'd experienced had been with Tomas, the Senate's spy who had been feeding off me without permission, and Mircea, who was probably plotting some nefarious scheme. I have no taste in men. ↗

— Karen Chance

#fiction #humor #romance #supernatural #vampire

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life. ↗

— Chris Colfer

#humor #sarcasm #humor

I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythin' the last few days? Prices have gone up. Pay or starve, it's all one to me. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humorous-comebacks #inflation #sarcasm #seller #humor

I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about PRINCESS.” He tilted his head and half curtseyed when he said the last word. “That! That is what I am talking about. Since we ran into the others you have been cold and more arrogant than usual.” She kept her voice low so the others would not hear. “Is that so? I would say I was averagely arrogant ↗

— B.C. Morin

#sarcasm #sarcasm-humor #humor

One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor #sarcastic-humor #satire #humor

Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #orgy #sarcasm #humor