#come

I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right. ↗

— Frank Zappa

#media #society #comedy

I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#mystery #thriller #comedy

THAT'S IT!" Terminus cried. "That's AGAINST THE RULES!" Polybotes frowned, obviously confused that he was being told off by a statue. "What are you?" he growled. "Shut up!" He pushed the statue over and turned back to Percy. "Now I'm MAD!" Terminus shrieked. "I'm strangling you. Feel that? Those are my hands around your neck, you big bully. Get over here! I'm going to head-butt you so hard-- ↗

— Rick Riordan

#fiction-fantasy #humour #percy-jackson #polybotes #rick-riordan

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here. [Omnes relinquite spes, o vos intrantes] ↗

— Dante Alighieri

#hell #latin #motto #comedy

The more a thing is perfect, the more if feels pleasure and pain. ↗

— Dante Alighieri

#comedy

The place is also big enough. We could all live there without killing each other." -Rhage "That depends more on your mouth than any floorplan." -Phury ↗

— J.R. Ward

#comedy #dark #view-point #comedy

I'm standing in a slaughterhouse where the cattle are begging to become hamburgers. I have a right to be jumpy. ↗

— Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

#comedy #hamburgers #shattered-mirror #comedy

They yearn for what they fear for. ↗

— Dante Alighieri

#comedy

Now, this is where I draw the line! It's bad enough everybody in town's going to be thinkin' I'm sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she's just about cornered the market on condoms-I don't know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin' a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me? ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#contemporary #romance #sep #comedy

As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it. ↗

— Lao Tzu

#eastern-philosophy #philosophy #comedy