#deli

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. ↗

— Rodney Dangerfield

#humour #infidelity #parenthood #parenting #sexuality

Deliverance is about what I went through the first time. And I chalk it up as a learning experience. ↗

— Bubba Sparxxx

#chalk #deliverance #experience #first #first time

Christopher throws dandelion head after dandelion head into his bag. It's getting heavy now and his fingers are stained from the work but there are still so many left to kill. His biggest mistake is giving them names. ↗

— Brian Martinez

#funny #odd #quirky #weeds #funny

Los Angeles Home Remodeling Contractors – MDM General Contractors offer home remodeling and renovations Remodeling Contractors services in Los Angeles. ↗

— bathroom remodelers

#bathroom-remodelers #bathroom-remodeling #bathroom-remodeling-contractors #bathroom-remodeling-cost #home

It is disappointing and embarrassing to the science profession that some Nobel Laureates would deliberately use their well deserved scientific reputations and hold themselves out as experts in other fields. ↗

— David Douglass

#deserved #disappointing #embarrassing #experts #fields

I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#infidelity #love #pain #relationships #imagination

They haven't killed us yet," I say, and I imagine that one day I will fly a plane over Portland, over Rochester, over every fenced-in city in the whole country, and I will bomb and bomb and bomb, and watch all their buildings smoldering to dust, and all those people melting and bleeding into flame, and I will see how they like it. If you take, we will take back. Steal from us, and we will rob you blind. When you squeeze, we will hit. This is the way the world is made now. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#lauren-oliver #lena #pandemonium #wilds #imagination

Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all. ↗

— Anne Burack Sayre

#birthday #children-s #delightful #elementary-school #funny

Those who will never be fooled can never be delighted, because without self-forgetfulness there can be no delight, and this is a great and grievous loss. ↗

— Alan Jacobs

#innocence #imagination

Forget Batman: when I really thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wanted to be my dad. ↗

— Paul Asay

#fatherhood #inspiration #parenthood #rolemodeling #inspirational