#diaper

Everything TSA does is reactionary - first they ban the box cutters, then of course you have to take your shoes off, then you have to take the liquids out, now we have to be patted down in our private areas because of the diaper bomber. ↗

— John Mica

#ban #because #bomber #box #course

Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. ↗

— Amy Poehler

#diapers #doubt #drive #faces #feet

The real Michael Jackson that has not been seen... with children, one in diapers, the other two toddlers. ↗

— Geraldo Rivera

#children #diapers #jackson #michael #michael jackson

No one's raising children any more. To love a child, you've got to work for it. You have to change its diapers and feed it at night! ↗

— Lauren Hutton

#change #child #children #diapers #feed

I wish I knew what you were talking about," she returned. "Where's the pin?" "Pin?" "Yes. Pin. To fasten the diaper. The kid can't hold the thing up with two hands. ↗

— Emma Goldrick

#funny

But playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren't real life. Real life, it turns out, is diapers and lawnmowers, decks that need painting, a wife that needs to be listened to, kids that need to be taught right from wrong, a checkbook, an oil change, a sunset behind a mountain, laughter at a kitchen table, too much wine, a chipped tooth, and a screaming child. ↗

— Donald Miller

#diapers #family #marriage #real-life #sunset

Why do otherwise sane, competent, strong men, men who can wrestle bears or raid corporations, shrink away in horror at the thought of washing a dish or changing a diaper? ↗

— Frank Pittman

#bears #changing #competent #corporations #diaper

I once knew a chap who had a system of just hanging the baby on the clothes line to dry and he was greatly admired by his fellow citizens for having discovered a wonderful innovation on changing a diaper. ↗

— Damon Runyon

#baby #changing #chap #citizens #clothes