#dl

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#buy #cake #candle #got #holder

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#any #car #cars #coming #exactly

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#eat #how #hungry #i #i am

A lot of exercise is mindless; you can have music or the radio on and not be aware. But if you're aware in anything you do - and it doesn't have to be yoga - it changes you. Being present changes you. ↗

— Mariel Hemingway

#aware #being #changes #exercise #lot

This act demonstrates graphically a turning away the past and moving ahead. You now get to refresh your time in a friendly way by running with the watch instead of against it or away from it. ↗

— Joe Henderson

#against #ahead #away #demonstrates #friendly

If I'm right in the middle of a deadline, I'm up really early. ↗

— Marilu Henner

#early #i #middle #really #right

Idleness is the heaviest of all oppressions. ↗

— Victor Hugo

#idleness #oppressions

One must be entirely sensitive to the structure of the material that one is handling. One must yield to it in tiny details of execution, perhaps the handling of the surface or grain, and one must master it as a whole. ↗

— Barbara Hepworth

#entirely #execution #grain #handling #master

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it - and sometimes three. ↗

— Heraclitus

#carry #chain #heavy #sometimes #takes

Do you not see, first, that - as a mental abstract - physical force is directly opposed to morality; and secondly, that it practically drives out of existence the moral forces? ↗

— Auberon Herbert

#directly #drives #existence #first #force