#fan

I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit... electric shock-y? ↗

— Emmett Spain

#humor #london-city #urban-fantasy #vampire #humor

I was sorry to lose it, and if you make me another one, I promise not to get taken captive by bandits and have to use it to save my life. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#fantasy #humor #romance #humor

I’ll leave you guys to get acquainted. Somebody show Leo to dinner when it’s time?” “I got it,” one of the girls said. Nyssa, Leo remembered. She wore camo pants, a tank top that showed off her buff arms, and a red bandanna over her mop of dark hair. Except for the smiley-face Band-Aid on her chin, she looked like one of those female action heroes, like any second she was going to grab a machine gun and start mowing down evil aliens. “Cool,” Leo said. “I always wanted a sister who could beat me up. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #young-adult #humor

The fish in the creek said nothing. Fish never do. Few people know what fish think about injustice, or anything else. ↗

— Ursula K. Le Guin

#fish #humor #humor

I didn’t ask for your help,” I muttered, too exhausted to properly argue. “So fuck you.” An alarm bell went off in my head and I bit back a sigh. I swore I sensed the mischievous grin that inevitably crossed his lips. “I already did you.” It was going to be a long drive. ↗

— Natasha McNeely

#humor #succubus #humor

The room continued to spin though she was standing still, but her ears were hot. She felt like she'd just slammed three doubles of tequila and needed a fistfight chaser. ↗

— Michael R. Underwood

#geek #humor #urban-fantasy #humor

Cupid, you worthless bastard, I summon you to human form! (Julian) Gee, I can't imagine why he wouldn't respond to that. (Grace) ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#fantasy-lover #sherrilyn-kenyon #imagination

Granana doesn't understand what the big deal is. She didn't cry at Olivia's funeral, and I doubt she even remembers Olivia's name. Granana lost, like, ninety-two million kids in childbirth. All of her brothers died in the war. She survived the Depression by stealing radish bulbs from her neighbors' garden, and fishing the elms for pigeons. Dad likes to remind us of this in a grave voice, as if it explained her jaundiced pitilessness: "Boys. Your grandmother ate pigeons. ↗

— Karen Russell

#humor-relationships #short-stories #humor

She imagined herself both queen and slave, dominatrix and victim. In her imagination she was making love with men of all skin colors--white, black, yellow--with homosexuals and beggars. She was anyone's, and anyone could do anything to her. She had one, two, three orgasms, one after another. She imagined everything she had never imagined before, and she gave herself to all that was most base and most pure. ↗

— Paulo Coelho

#masturbation #sexuality #imagination

And then I wonder, does my brother think of me this way? We entered this world together, one after the other, beats in a pulse. But I will be first to leave it. That's what I've been promised. When we were children, did he dare to imagine an empty space beside him where I then stood giggling, blowing soap bubbles through my fingers? When I die, will he be sorry that he loved me? Sorry that we were twins? Maybe he already is. ↗

— Lauren DeStefano

#fever #lauren-destefano #imagination