#fool

WARNING This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional grammar, split infinitives, and the odd wank. If that sort of thing bothers you, then gentle reader pass by, for we endeavor only to entertain, not to offend. That said, if that’s the sort of thing you think you might enjoy, then you have happened upon the perfect story! ↗

— Christopher Moore

#grammar

Through the window yesterday I saw a fool talking to himself, and it made me laugh, until I realized it was a mirrored window. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fool #funny #humor #laughter #funny

Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy, rotten, sodding love? What ho? Wherefore? What the f*ck? Love? ↗

— Christopher Moore

#fool #love

Attacking a provincial lord in his manor house, surrounded by guards...Honestly, Kell, I'd nearly forgotten how foolhardy you can be. "Foolhardy?" Kelsier asked with a laugh. "that wasn't foolhardy - that was just a small diversion. You should see some of the things I'm planning to do! Dockson stood for a moment then he laughed too. "By the Lord Ruler, it's good to have you back, kell! I'm afraid I've grown rather boring during the last few years" "We'll fix that" Kelsier promised. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#dockson #dox #foolhardy #funny #getting-boring

I was once honest with myself, on April Fool's day. I thought it would be the best practical joke ever, but I realized I'd already been the butt of an even bigger one. My birth. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #honesty #humor #practical-jokes #funny

Shame upon him who can look on calmly, and exclaim, ‘The foolish girl! she should have waited; she should have allowed time to wear off the impression; her despair would have been softened, and she would have found another lover to comfort her.’ One might as well say, ‘The fool, to die of a fever! why did he not wait till his strength was restored, till his blood became calm? all would then have gone well, and he would have been alive now. ↗

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

#funny #funny

For in Paris, whenever God puts a pretty woman there (the streets), the Devil, in reply, immediately puts a fool to keep her. ↗

— Jules-Amédée Barbey d'Aurevilly

#fools #god #love #paris #love

Only a fool believes that his actions don't shape the world. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#effect #fool #richelle #richelle-goodrich #richelle-goodrich

If 50 million people say something foolish, it is still foolish. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#humor #humor

Love is the most precious gift you could ever possibly hope to steal. Some women foolishly do not leave their rib cages locked at night.  ↗