#go

Some police forces would believe anything. Not the Metropolitan police, though. The Met was the hardest, most cynically pragmatic, most stubbornly down-to-earth police force in Britain. It would take a lot to phase a copper from the Met. It would take, for example, a huge, battered car that was nothing more nor less than a fireball, a blazing, roaring, twisted metal lemon from Hell, driven by a grinning lunatic in sunglasses, sitting amid the flames, trailing thick black smoke, coming straight at them through the lashing rain and wind at eighty miles an hour. That would do it every time. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#good-omens #humor #neil-gaiman #terry-pratchett #humor

Don't ignore me. I only get more annoying. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#richelle #richelle-goodrich #humor

Now then," he mused, "how does one fly a dragon? ↗

— Nicole Sager

#dragons #humor #nicole-sager #humor

Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

Why hasn't someone lassoed a few teenagers and had them sit down and write out all the supposed answers they have so we can solve the world's problems already? ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#problems #richelle #richelle-goodrich #teenagers #world-issues

Jesus "...It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who do Evil Shit in My Name. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#irony #understatements #humor

Michael: Barzini will set me up through somebody close... that, supposedly, I won't suspect. Hagen: Somebody like me. Michael: You're Irish, they won't trust you. Hagen: I'm German-American. Michael: To them that's Irish. ↗

— Mario Puzo

#michael-corleone #the-godfather #tom-hagen #humor

It did not look like the work of God, but it might have represented the handicraft of a God with a joyous sense of humor, a dancing God who loved mischief as much as prayer, and playfulness as much as mischief. ↗

— Pat Conroy

#god #humor

The way I’d put it,” said Makin, “is that Rike can’t make an omelet without wading thigh deep in the blood of chickens and wearing their entrails as a necklace. ↗

— Mark Lawrence

#humor #violence #humor

Libations are for the gods. Cocktails are for mere mortals. ↗

— Jonathan Kieran

#blogs #books #goodreads #humor #jonathan-kieran