#gramma

This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional gramar, split infinitives, and the odd wank. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #humor

Thurber was asked by a correspondent: "Why did you have a comma in the sentence, 'After dinner, the men went into the living-room'?" And his answer was probably one of the loveliest things ever said about punctuation. "This particular comma," Thurber explained, "was Ross's way of giving the men time to push back their chairs and stand up. ↗

— Lynne Truss

#humor

Oh -- who's the Queen?" "Her, of course. The White Queen. You're just like Alice, you know. Down the rabbit hole with the Mad Hatter. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#gramma #morganville-vampires #morganville-vampires

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years. ↗

— Tina Fey

#grammar-humor #humor #stress #humor

It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #language #humor

The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar. ↗

— Michel de Montaigne

#grammar #humor #misunderstandings #problems #troubles

If you can spell "Nietzsche" without Google, you deserve a cookie. ↗

— Lauren Leto

#grammar #humor #spelling #humor

And while we're on the subject of ducks, which we plainly are, the story, 'The Ugly Duckling' ought be banned as the central character wasn't a duckling or he wouldn't have grown up into a swan. He was a cygnet. ↗

— Russell Brand

#grammar-humor #humor

I love you. You are the object of my affection and the object of my sentence. ↗

— Mignon Fogarty

#humor #humor

Nothing could go wrong because nothing had...I meant "nothing would." No - Then I quit trying to phrase it, realizing that if time travel ever became widespread, English grammar was going to have to add a whole new set of tenses to describe reflexive situations - conjugations that would make the French literary tenses and the Latin historical tenses look simple. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humor #science-fiction #time-travel #humor