#hai

Skulduggery." "Fletcher." Fletcher stuck out his hand. Skulduggery observed it for a moment. "I'm sorry, what are we doing now?" "Shaking hands," Fletcher said. "Like adults. I just want you to know that this past year has changed me. I've grown, as a person. I'm not the same Fletcher you used to know. "You look a lot like him." "Well, yeah, but-" "And you have the same ridiculous hair." "Can we just shake hands?" "Of course we can," Skulduggery said, and they shook. "Now what?" "I, uh...I don't really know. What do adults usually do after they shake hands?" "Generally, the first thing they do is let go." "Oh, right," Fletcher said, and Skulduggery took his hand back. "So, Skulduggery, how have you been? You're looking well. That's a really nice tie. "It's blue." "And such a nice shade." Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie. "You promised me he wouldn't be annoying. ↗

— Derek Landy

#greet #hair #shake #change

Last year I built a Courage Machine, but I thought it might be noisy and was too afraid to turn it on. So I coated it with glue, covered it with cat hair, mounted it on my wall, and started claiming it was an exotic animal I killed on a Safari in Africa. I'd like to believe people believe me, on account of it being so strange that it has to be true. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#africa #cat-hair #courage #exotic-animal #fear

The portuguese never put anything behind them except a chair to eat lunch. ↗

— Robert Wilson

#death

Lothaire said, “I have a much better plan.” “Why help him?” Thad asked pointedly. “When you don’t help anybody else?” Lothaire exhaled ruefully. “Incurable romantic. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#dreams

His tone dripping condescension, Lothaire crooned, “Ah children, it’s not yet story time.” He closed his eyes and turned away, saying over his shoulder, “To anyone who contemplates even nearing me while I sleep: I will garrote you with your own viscera. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#dreams-of-a-dark-warrior #immortals-after-dark #kresley-cole #lore #lothaire

You could run, and I could stay to fend them off," the vampire offered. "For some reason, I feel amazingly refreshed." He swung an amused look at Declan that made him grind his teeth. "And it seems I'm quite handy against them."-- --Natalya tossed away her busted TEP-C. "So, Lothaire, you're going to fight them out of the blackness of your heart? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#berserker #declan-chase #dreams-of-a-dark-warrior #immortals-after-dark #kresley-cole

Love, Mercy, and Grace, sisters all, attend your wounds of silence and hope. ↗

— Aberjhani

#classic-books #famous-quotes #famous-quotes-from-classic-books #grace #haiku

My first thought was, “I got a haircut and trimmed my pubes for this job interview?” Then I thought, “Maybe being a political intern isn’t such a bad gig after all. I could learn the ropes that bind the people into bondage.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dirty #haircut #intern #internship #interview

Blood is really warm, it's like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#haiku #horror #humor #zombies #humor

Legend has it that during the festival of Eostre, all fires had to be extinguished in the Goddess’ honour and could only be relit from a sacred flame in the centre of the village. The new fire was seen as a symbol of sacredness and purity, something which everyone wanted to bring into their homes at such a lovely time of year when everything was fresh and new. ↗

— Carole Carlton

#carole-carlton #festival-of-eostre #imbolc #irish-celts #lughnasadh