#hanks

I get heartfelt thanks from all kinds of people. Today I heard from a waitress in Georgia who has lost her job and is trying to figure out how her local bank can change the terms on her credit card, and I heard from a physicist at a major research university who wants to explain a better theory of financial stress tests. ↗

— Elizabeth Warren

#better #card #change #credit #credit card

Thanksgiving comes to us out of the prehistoric dimness, universal to all ages and all faiths. At whatever straws we must grasp, there is always a time for gratitude and new beginnings. ↗

— J. Robert Moskin

#age

Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot h'ors d'ourves. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground. ↗

— Paul Rudnick

#indians #native-americans #pilgrims #thanksgiving #family

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. ↗

— James Allen

#duty #more #returning #than #thanks

Not to sound too much like Christopher Guest in 'Waiting for Guffman,' but on Thanksgiving you're putting on a show! ↗

— Ted Allen

#guest #like #much #putting #show

I look in music magazines now and see things on Luther Allison, and my name's getting out there more, thanks to all the good people at Alligator Records and at my management company. ↗

— Luther Allison

#allison #company #getting #good #good people

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. ↗

— Todd Barry

#chicken #eat #fingers #i #i love

The book is called 'Thanks for Nothing' and it's really the story of how I got into comedy and traces back every strand in my life that is relevant to that story. It's kind of an autobiography but isn't, as it stops about 25 years ago. It goes right up to the first time I do stand up. ↗

— Jack Dee

#ago #autobiography #back #book #called

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#bad #commemorate #cooking #harbor #kids

To the people I forgot, you weren't on my mind for some reason and you probably don't deserve any thanks anyway. ↗

— Eminem

#anyway #deserve #forgot #i #mind