#her

I'm your mother. I see all. Hear all. Know all. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#humor

Cat, hmmm? From where I sit you look more like a Kitten." My head jerked around and I shot him an annoyed look. Oh, I was going to enjoy this, all right. "It's Cat," I repeated firmly. "Cat Raven." "Whatever you say, Kitten Tweedy. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat-crawfield #catherine-crawfield #funny #halfway-to-the-grave #humor

Aren't fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself? ...No, you're confusing fairy godmothers with sales clerks. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#humor #self-esteem #humor

I can’t believe how much this place has grown,” Hazel muttered. The taxi driver grinned in the rearview mirror. “Been a long time since you visited, miss?” “About seventy years,” Hazel said. The driver slid the glass partition closed and drove on in silence. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #taxi-driver #the-heroes-of-olympus #the-son-of-neptune

Well you can't believe everything you read. After all, by definition, fiction writers lie for a living. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#my-unfair-godmother #humor

I was on HPD--Heathcliff Protection Duty--in Wuthering Heights for two years, and believe me, the ProCaths tried everything. I personally saved him from assassination eight times. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #wuthering-heights #humor

And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying. ↗

— Dylan Moran

#dylan #funk-soul-brother #humor #humour #moran

I get no sense from his note at all,” said Will, bounding to his feet, “except that he can quote Tennyson’s lesser poetry. Sophie, how quickly can you have Tessa ready?” “Half an hour,” said Sophie, not looking up from the dress. “Meet me in the courtyard in half an hour, then,” said Will. “I’ll wake Cyril. And be prepared to swoon at my finery. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #humorous-quotations #will-herondale #humor

Were you thinking about eating me?” Will inquired. “No!” “No one would blame you,” said Jem. “He’s very annoying. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #humor

I knew it! I knew it! ” “Are we allowed to speak yet?” said Ron grumpily. Hermione ignored him. “Nicolas Flamel,” she whispered dramatically, “is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone!” This didn’t have quite the effect she’d expected. “The what?” said Harry and Ron. “Oh, honestly, don’t you two read? Look — read that, there. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hermione-granger #humor #philosopher-s-stone #ron-weasley #humor