#hon

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#avoiding #evasive #fear #funny #humor

I've just vowed my love for you. Have you nothing to say in return?" Duncan asked. "Thank you, husband. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor #julie-garwood #romance #humor

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? ↗

— James Thurber

#answer #called #did #i #number

There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately. ↗

— Dave Barry

#call #humor #life #men #phone

Magic is the only honest profession. A magician promises to deceive you and he does. ↗

— Karl Germain

#humor #illusionists #illusions #magic #magicians

He caught me stealing his golden phoenix.' Tithonus closed his eyes briefly. 'Good grief!' He opened them again. 'I was half hoping it wasn't true. Have you any idea of the implications?' 'He was mistreating it!' Pyrgus protested. 'Of course he was mistreating it. This is Black Hairstreak we're talking about. He mistreats his own mother. I don't suppose you stole her as well? ↗

— Herbie Brennan

#phoenix #pyrgus #tithonus #humor