#how

Hate. Huh. He'd never hated himself. If anything, he'd always liked himself a little too much. Once, a human female had even accused him of picturing his own face while he climaxed. He hadn't denied it, either, and next time he'd slept with her, he'd made sure to scream, "Strider" at the pivotal moment." --Strider, keeper of the demon of Defeat-- ↗

— Gena Showalter

#demon #ego #gena-showalter #humor #romance

I don’t think anybody’s ever written a song called, “There’s urine on the couch, and the remote control is in the shower.” I would write it myself, but I’ve never been very good at writing love ballads. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love-ballad #shower #song #strange

Marcus: Cherry? Jillian: My ten-year-old niece. Marcus: She's named after a piece of fruit? Jillian nodded. Jillian: So is her twin sister, Apple. Marcus: You're kidding me. Jillian: Unfortunately, I'm serious. Their father is fond of fruit pies and thought it would be cute. Marcus: And their mother didn't protest? Jillian: She thinks Steven's cute, so she gives him whatever he wants. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#gena-showalter #humor #humor

I try to make my comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to be respectable and short enough to be interesting. ↗

— Adam Clayton Powell

#guide #how-to #humor #men #women