#i am

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#else #guy #i #i am #me

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#buy #everything #good #i #i am

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#dude #ever #fine #gonna #i

I am still making order out of chaos by reinvention. ↗

— John le Carre

#chaos #i #i am #making #order

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#apart #argue #car #different #driving

With a book I am the writer and I am also the director and I'm all of the actors and I'm the special effects guy and the lighting technician: I'm all of that. So if it's good or bad, it's all up to me. ↗

— George R. R. Martin

#am #bad #book #director #effects

Every family is different. I am mom and I am dad and I'm going to do my best. You should be proud, walk through life saying I have the coolest family. I am part of a modern family. ↗

— Ricky Martin

#best #coolest #dad #different #every

Proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. ↗

— Ricky Martin

#fortunate #homosexual #i #i am #man

I am not an enemy of Adventism. ↗

— Walter Martin

#enemy #i #i am

I am my own person. ↗

— Susana Martinez

#i #i am #my own #own #person