#introversion

Recognition is what you feel when a friend sums up exactly what you’re feeling, when an author gives you the right words, when someone “gets” you. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#life

Our challenge as introverts is to adopt the attitude, based on the introversion assumption, that your need to retreat requires no explanation—it is self-evident. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#attitude

The Socially Accessible introvert looks like an extrovert on the outside and sees extroversion as a bar that he or she can never quite reach. These individuals are often very successful in social arenas, but fault themselves for not having more fun. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#life

...according to the prevailing extroversion assumption, inviting you is a nice gesture, and pressuring you is a compliment—an indication that you are wanted. How many times have you equivocated on or even declined an invitation, only to be asked again—and again? ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#life

Is it better to part with your introversion or to accept a diagnosis that allows you to have it as long as you see it as a problem? The introverted child’s plea for solitude seems to be either unheeded or treated. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#life

I heard, for the first time— nothing. I danced and did somersaults, lay down in a bed of grass, felt the breeze. And for the first time, I heard my heart, and I knew who I was. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#life

I talk with many Shadow Dwellers who are mystified by the fact that chatty workers are rarely reprimanded. Sit and gossip and you are fun; close the door (if you have one) and you are antisocial. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#life

It's as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people's emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world. ↗

— Susan Cain

#introversion #sensitivities #tragedy

If a child stays quiet in the context of extroverted friends, or even prefers time alone, a parent may worry and even send her to therapy. She might be thrilled— she’ll finally get to talk about the stuff she cares about, and without interruption! But if the therapist concludes that the child has a social phobia, the treatment of choice is to increasingly expose her to the situations she fears. This behavioral treatment is effective for treating phobias — if that is truly the problem. If it’s not the problem, and the child just likes hanging out inside better than chatting, she’ll have a problem soon. Her “illness” now will be an internalized self-reproach: “Why don’t I enjoy this like everyone else?” The otherwise carefree child learns that something is wrong with her. She not only is pulled away from her home, she is supposed to like it. Now she is anxious and unhappy, confirming the suspicion that she has a problem. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#life

Think of a group of Extrovert Moms gathered together at a Little League game, excitedly chatting and enjoying the action. In comes Introvert Mom who, after a full day of work, wants nothing more than to savor the game—all by herself. She sits off a bit from everyone else, stretching her feet onto the bleacher bench, and may even have a book to indulge in as the team warms up. She might enjoy watching the people around her, but she has no energy to interact. What are the Extrovert Moms thinking? Because they are oriented to people, they will likely assume that Introvert Mom is, too—which means they see Introvert Mom as not liking people (what we know now as asocial) or being a “snob,” thinking she’s too good for the Extrovert Moms. More likely, Introvert Mom is not thinking about them at all! She is just doing something she likes to do. ↗

— Laurie Helgoe

#life