#it

I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit... electric shock-y? ↗

— Emmett Spain

#humor #london-city #urban-fantasy #vampire #humor

Charles stepped forward, looking outraged. 'Him?' he cried. 'But I clobbered him! You can't marry him, Ally. ↗

— Marissa Doyle

#charles #humor #leland-sisters #marissa-doyle #humor

The British nation is unique in this respect: they are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#british #humor #humor

The Fundamentalist Christians have told me that I am a slave of Satan and should have my demons expelled with an exorcism. The Fundamentalist Materialists inform me that I am a liar, charlatan, fraud and scoundrel. Aside from this minor difference, the letters are astoundingly similar. Both groups share the same crusading zeal and the same lack of humor, charity and common human decency. These intolerable cults have served to confirm me in my agnosticism by presenting further evidence to support my contention that when dogma enters the brain, all intellectual activity ceases. ↗

— Robert Anton Wilson

#christianity #humor #humor

If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #thievery #humor

The pen is mightier than the sword unless it's a real sword in which case the guy with the pen should run away fast. ↗

— Roger Eschbacher

#practicality-for-intellectuals #swords #writing #humor

I can see that an insufficent, or perhaps even defective, socialization process has led you to believe that four-letter words add power to languauge ↗

— Preston and Child

#humor #pendergast #preston #still-life-with-crows #humor

I came from a disadvantaged home. They were Republicans. ↗

— Paul Tsongas

#politics #republicans #humor

Senator, I make it a point never to do math in public. ↗

— Paul W.

#inspirational #math #politics #humor

I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#politics #humor