#it

This isn't sex." I blinked. "Oh. Then what is it?" "An emergency!" I started to argue and then thought twice about it. Considering what Mircea would do to Pritkin if he ever found out about this...Yeah. Emergency sounded good. ↗

— Karen Chance

#territorial #humor

Trying to drown me woman?" 'You can't drown a SEAL,' she said. 'How embarrassing would that be?' 'God yes. Shoot me, hang me, let me die of infection from a hangnail, but don't let me die in the water. They'd send me to hell on principle. ↗

— Maya Banks

#military #navy-seals #humor

Go ahead and laugh at Detroit. Because you are laughing at yourself. ↗

— Charlie LeDuff

#detroit #humor #literature #humor

There is nothing harder to estimate than a writer's time, nothing harder to keep track of. There are moments—moments of sustained creation—when his time is fairly valuable; and there are hours and hours when a writer's time isn't worth the paper he is not writing anything on. ↗

— E.B. White

#humor #writers #writers-on-writing #writing #writing-life

The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics-of-the-united-states #humor

He caught me stealing his golden phoenix.' Tithonus closed his eyes briefly. 'Good grief!' He opened them again. 'I was half hoping it wasn't true. Have you any idea of the implications?' 'He was mistreating it!' Pyrgus protested. 'Of course he was mistreating it. This is Black Hairstreak we're talking about. He mistreats his own mother. I don't suppose you stole her as well? ↗

— Herbie Brennan

#phoenix #pyrgus #tithonus #humor

Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#fitting-in #humor #humor

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#stupidity #humor

People have many cruel expectations from writers. People expect novelists to live on a hill with three kids and a spouse, people expect children's story writers to never have sex, and people expect all great poets to be dead. And these are all very difficult expectations to fulfill, I think. ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#humour #writers #writers-on-writing #humor

Warning: Contains old friends, old enemies, a dramatic cat rescue, soft drink references and a lot of teasing before the steamy sex. Readers are cautioned against drinking any beverage while reading to avoid accidental snorting or spraying of said beverages. ↗

— K.A. Mitchell

#k-a-mitchell #warning #humor