#iv

Living with hope is like rubbing up against a cheese grater. It keeps taking slices off you until there's so little left you just crumble. ↗

— Catherine Austen

#depressing #humor #humor

It's only life. We all get through it. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#life #living #survival #humor

I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I need is fascism to complete the set. I’m looking to trade my dusty democracy, but Uncle Sam isn’t interested in a deal at this time. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#collections #collectivism #communism #democracy #fascism

I hope you’re not planning on kicking me,” he said, not even bothering to look up from his book, “as hard as you did those doors.” “I will,” I said, “if the next words out of your mouth are Pierce, you just need to relax. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#john #pierce-oliviera #humor

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken. ↗

— Dick Gregory

#comedy #humor #racism #humor

I had made her so unhappy that she had developed a sense of humor. [-Rabo Karabekian] ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#rabo-karebekian #wife #wives #humor

If you were up to your neck in cat vomit and someone threw dog poop at you would you duck? ↗

— Joel Samaha

#inquisitive #humor

As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #sarcasm #survival #humor

I know this goes without saying, but Stonehenge really was the most incredible accomplishment. It took five hundred men just to pull each sarsen, plus a hundred more to dash around positioning the rollers. Just think about it for a minute. Can you imagine trying to talk six hundred people into helping you drag a fifty-ton stone eighteen miles across the countryside and muscle it into an upright position, and then saying, 'Right, lads! Another twenty like that, plus some lintels and maybe a couple of dozen nice bluestones from Wales, and we can party!' Whoever was the person behind Stonehenge was one dickens of a motivator, I'll tell you that. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#history #humor #motivation #stonehenge #humor

You know, they ask me if I were on a desert island and I knew nobody would ever see what I wrote, would I go on writing. My answer is most emphatically yes. I would go on writing for company. Because I'm creating an imaginary — it's always imaginary — world in which I would like to live. (Interview, The Paris Review) ↗

— William S. Burroughs

#imagination #writing #imagination