#john

Maybe you've never fallen into a frozen stream. Here's what happens. 1. It is cold. So cold that the Department of Temperature Acknowledgment and Regulation in you brain gets the readings and says, "I can't deal with this. I'm out of here." It puts up the OUT TO LUNCH sign and passes all responsibility to the... 2. Department of Pain and the Processing Thereof, which gets all this gobbledygook from the temperature department that it can't understand. "This is so not our job," it says. So it just starts hitting random buttons, filling you with strange and unpleasant sensations, and calls the... 3. Office of Confusion and Panic, where there is always someone ready to hop on the phone the moment it rings. This office is at least willing to take some action. The Office of Confusion and Panic loves hitting buttons. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#maureen-johnson #the-jubilee-express #love

Maureen clapped her hands together. "Oh," she said in her elfin little voice. "It's pretty." "Pretty?" Simon looked quickly at the hunched shape on top of the concrete block. "Maureen, what the hell- ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#sebastian-morgenstern #simon-lewis #city-of-fallen-angels

Fuck all of you," John retorded. "You don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination. ↗

— David Wong

#funny #john #funny

Let me just say it out loud so we can laugh together: You're going to find Johnny Depp, take him back to Vahalal, and put him in a zoo? ↗

— Gary Ghislain

#johnny-depp #laughs #funny

Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side. ↗

— John Fahey

#death #first #good #guy #i

When in darkness....strike a match ↗

— John Paul Warren

#christian #faith #hope #john-paul #john-paul-warren

Even in the greatest afflictions, we ought to testify to God, that, in receiving them from his hand, we feel pleasure in the midst of the pain, from being afflicted by Him who loves us, and whom we love. ↗

— John Wesley

#john-wesley #faith

The 60s passed and faded and I grew older, and in 1987 bought a house in upstate New York, and it turned out that John Brown was buried down the road from my house and that he had lived there longer than anywhere else and his house was still standing. ↗

— Russell Banks

#bought #brown #buried #down #down the road

Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard to stop once you start. ↗

— John Green

#simile #john-green

I love singing some Johnny Cash, which is interesting because it's in a guy's key; I love singing Elvis Presley. ↗

— Samantha Barks

#cash #elvis #elvis presley #guy #i