#ky

Sometimes I sit for hours just thinking, wondering what the man upstairs is trying to tell me. Yesterday I reached the conclusion that he was saying, “Get me a slinky. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#god #humor #man-upstairs #slinky #funny

There's no time like the present, No present like time. And life can be over in the space of a rhyme. There's no gift like friendship And no love like mine. Give me your love to treasure through time. ↗

— Georgia Byng

#friendship

The staying awake was a great self-sacrificaing gesture of friendship, and wonderfully in keeping with our current mood of intense friendship and religious fervour. We were all in a state of shock. We engaged in a long Dostojevskyan conversations and drank one black coffee after another. It was sort of night typical of youth, the sort you only can look back on with shame and embarassment once you've grown up. But God knows, I must have grown up already by then, because I don't feel the slightest embarassment when I think back to it, just a terrible nostalgia. ↗

— Antal Szerb

#conversations #dostoievsky #melancholy #nights #nostalgia

Okay... My name is Ellie Mason and I have a feeling you don't like me." Kylie stopped and swerved around... "Okay, let's get something out in the open. I know you had sex with Derek." "Damn!" Perry said, and grinned. "This is gonna be better than I thought. ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#funny #kylie #perry #funny

[Kagura is doing laundry and tries to wring out Kyou's shirt causing it to rip in two ] Kyo Sohma: Tell me what I think just happened didn't just happen Kagura: My love ! Kyo Sohma: My shirt! ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#fruits-basket #funny #kagura #kyo #funny

Aside from murder alibis and kinky sex, what good are clones? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #kinky-sex #murder #funny

Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#bad-company #bad-influence #evil #evil-people #evil-thoughts

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #snarky #witty #funny

I’m trying to decide whether to tell you two to get a room or go barf in the trash can,” Emma said. “I’m leaning toward the second choice. You are both getting way too weird. And gross.” Cal barked out a laugh and slid his fingers down my arm to entwine with mine. His touch, and Emma’s comments, only made me blush more. Looks like Emma saw Cal lick my face after all. Now that wasn’t awkward or anything. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#emma #funny #legend-of-witchtrot-road #paranormal-romance #quirky

That's about as effective as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass. ↗

— Denise Tompkins

#humor #snarky-quotes #funny