#las

The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't. ↗

— John Green

#looking-for-alaska #humor

I'd suggest putting your head between your knees, but I think that's physically impossible for you at the moment. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#roarke-humor #humor

I believe there is a great deal too much mutual confession going on today, as if sharing one’s problems somehow makes them go away. All it really does, of course, is increase the number of people who have to worry about a particular issue. ↗

— Helen Simonson

#major-pettigrew-s-last-stand #humor

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "Huh? ↗

— Frank Beddor

#humor #the-looking-glass-wars #humor

The climate of Barrow is Arctic. Temperatures range from cold as shit to fucking freezing. ↗

— Steve Niles

#cold #humor #humor

Well now," the scholar went on, "I'm just an old fuddy-duddy who could use a tan, so you needn't grant my opinion any authority, but I consider the queendom lucky that a handful of Milliners and their children lived incognito among the population during Redd's tyranny. ↗

— Frank Beddor

#frank #glass #humor #incognito #looking

We're standing here, beat to shit, walking away from a crime scene where either or both of us could have bought it, and you're asking me to marry you?" "Perfect timing. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#eve-dallas #glory #glory-in-death #death

Even Tom Sawyer had a girlfriend and to talk about adults without talking about their sex drives is like talking about a window without glass. ↗

— Grace Metalious

#drives #even #girlfriend #glass #had

All of them are the same type; girls with overprocessed hair and too much makeup and way too much access to Daddy’s credit cards. Girls who, if you took away the designer labels, hair dye and cover-up, wouldn’t be more than average-looking, but with all that stuff look too plastic to be pretty. ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#face #fact #funny #girls #humor

If you find an Australian indoors, it's a fair bet that he will have a glass in his hand. ↗

— Jonathan Aitken

#bet #fair #find #glass #hand