#less

Speaking of… does this mean you get your phone back?” I shrug. “I don’t really want that phone back. I’m hoping my whipped boyfriend will get me an iPhone for Christmas. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#dean-holder #funny #hopeless #iphone #sky-and-dean

Government is operated by deeply embedded, hopelessly entangled bureaus where nothing is accomplished because the function of the bureau is to intercept every living idea and smother it. ↗

— Gerry Spence

#because #bureau #bureaus #deeply #embedded

I just don't know what I'd do without a brain, Simone!" I say. "I mean, what's a person without one? ↗

— Randa Abdel-Fattah

#brains #funny #funny

Underwater, bubbles erupted before my eyes as a swift hand snatched my arm and pulled me to the surface. I gasped for air, coughing and gagging at the amount of water I sucked into my lungs by pure shock. What was up with me and breathing in water? I needed to grow some gills or something. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fiction #funny #gills #humor #kreitzer

It’s complicated,” I said in defense, hands going up to show surrender. “Talk slowly,” Jenna retorted derisively. “Okay, I deserved that,” I admitted. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fantasy #fiction #funny #humor #jenna-moretti

This rootless shifting east and west I can't suppress a smile myself but how else can I make the whole world my home. If any of my old friends come around asking say I'm down at the river by the Second Fushimi Bridge. ↗

— Baisao

#rootlessness #home

The lessons taught in great books are misleading. The commerce in life is rarely so simple and never so just. ↗

— Anita Brookner

#commerce #great #just #lessons #life

It’s not our mistakes that define us. It’s the lessons we learn that show our true character. ↗

— Cassia Leo

#lessons #mistakes #home

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. ↗

— Orson Welles

#dinners #doctor #four #having #intimate

Qmail out of the box works fine, so people will want to use it regardless of licensing restrictions, even when the software does not ship with their system software. ↗

— Wietse Venema

#does #even #fine #licensing #out