#m

They may well have had a backup system, but if it crashed at the same time as their main system, then that's all she wrote,' Riker said. 'Excuse mee, sir' said Data. 'That's all who wrote?' 'It's merely an expression, Mr. Data,' said Picard. 'It means that was the end of it. There was nothing they could do.' 'That's all she wrote' repeated Data. He nodded. 'Yes, I see. She, in this case, doubtless referring to the human conceptualization of Fate, writing a final chapter, as it were, and putting a period to the-' 'Please, Mr. Data,' Picard said impatiently. ↗

— Simon Hawke

#humor

He was unmistakably sipping iced tea with the hatters and the hares. ↗

— Tony Vigorito

#humor #humor

When did this fiend strike last?" Ah . . . The last report was from the Dominican Republic. That was, let me see, two nights ago." Dominican Republic! Why in the world would he go there?" Exactly what I would like to know. ↗

— Anne Rice

#humor #humor

The bloated colonel: "Now, where were we? Read me back the last line." " 'Read me back my last line.' " read back the corporal who could take shorthand. ↗

— Joseph Heller "Catch-

#humor

Stop it. This is me, remember? We've been thrown up by the same puppies. - Ossin ↗

— Robin McKinley

#puppies #humor

Love goes together with acceptance ↗

— Dillis Tembo

#humor

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. ↗

— Shepherd Mead

#humor

In the land of sour grapes, the half-eaten apple is the queen ↗

— Katerina Stoykova Klemer

#parody #humor

They think that they’re smart and that the rest of us are dumb. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#humor

And LO and BEHOLD, I was on BOTH the six AND eleven o’clock newscasts! AND all the commercials, as well! (‘Day of the drag queen at one area high school, controversy at six!’) And it must have been a slow night because I was the SECOND PIECE of the night! The granny suicide bomber got the lead. BITCH! But I managed to beat out the president’s pulled groin and day six of the Jessica Simpson chapped-lip crisis! ↗

— James St. James

#humor