#mormonism

Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #mormonism #religion #robot #humor

What has bothered and angered radical Muslims is that I'm a non-Muslim writing anything at all about Islam. But this is fiction, and I don't think Islam is above criticism or fictionalization any more so than Judaism, Christianity, Mormonism or Hinduism is. ↗

— Brad Thor

#above #angered #any #anything #bothered

It is, after all, far too easy to pinch and kick the bizarre Mormon Church; to say it's ripe for satire and parody is to say a Catholic schoolgirl is ripe for debauchery. It's like shooting polygamist fish in a barrel of coffee. ↗

— Mark Morford

#child-abuse #mormonism #catholicism

No sex?" He looked at me in disbelief. "Well if you can't have ze sex, what can you do?" For the sake of simplicity I took my left arm and lined it up just under my collarbones. "Nothing below here," I said. I took my right arm and lined it up to my knees. "Nothing above here." "What about your armpit?" he asked. "Can your boyfriend do anything he wants to your armpit?" I thought about it. Armpits seemed pretty harmless. "Yeah," I said optimistically. "My boyfriend can do anything he wants to my armpit." "This is good," the Frenchman said. "He can stick his penis in and out of your armpit, and if you grow hair there it is almost like vagine." Is it too late to change my answer? I wondered, pulling a cardigan over my bare shoulders and covering any hint of an invitation. ↗

— Elna Baker

#humor #lds #mormon #mormonism #sex

Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God. ↗

— Joseph Smith Jr.

#happiness #inspirational #mormonism #religion #virtue

It's impossible to be anything but a Cafeteria Mormon. If everything taught by Church leaders - and scripture - were laid out like a buffet, your plate would be full of mixed messages and contradictions. If there is "opposition in all things," you'll certainly find it in the statements of Church leaders and scripture. Cherry-picking is not an option; it's the only game in town. It's just that some groups pick a little more of this while other groups pick a little more of that. I say, if you're going to cherry-pick, at least be guided by a sense of humanity. ↗

— Bill

#mormonism #religion #religion

Mormonism is the pure doctrine of Jesus Christ; of which I myself am not ashamed. ↗

— Joseph Smith, Jr.

#ashamed #christ #doctrine #i #jesus

Zoroastrianism? Oh, there’s never been but a few hundred thousand of them at any one time, mostly located in Iran and India, but that’s it. The one true faith. If you’re not a Zoroastrian, I’m afraid you are bound for Hell.” The man looked stunned and shocked. "It's not fair." The demon gave a mirthful laugh. “Well, it was fair when you were sending all the Chinese to Hell who had never heard of Jesus. Wasn’t it? ↗

— Steven L. Peck

#christianity #christians #hell #jesus #lds

...they needed someone to explain, to spin, the parts of the tale that couldn't be suppressed. Someone reputable and educated. Someone brilliant yet absolutely committed to the faith. Someone like my father. ↗

— Martha N. Beck

#controversial #faith #leaving #leaving-the-saints #mormonism

I have thus given you a full statement of all that I know respecting the origin of Mormonism. ↗

— Charles Anthon

#given #i #know #mormonism #origin