#no

I am ever a gentle maiden," she shouted. "Damn if I'm not. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor #julie-garwood #romance-novels #humor

Hey, would you look at that shit?" I turned on my heel. The patrons who’d fled at the first hint of trouble had come back and were enjoying the spectacle. "Clear out!" I barked. They paid me no mind. Asshole innocent bystanders. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#paranormal #humor

Paranoia is just the bastard child of fear and good sense." (Charlie) "Poor thing. Let's adopt it, give it a last name and raise it right." (Jace) "You want to get it a puppy, too?" "Sure. We'll call it Panic. It and little Paranoia can play together at the park and scare the hell out of all the other kids. ↗

— D.D. Barant

#panic #paranoia #pets #humor

I might be half Derek's size, but I was the one who sounded like a two-hundred-pound beast plowing through the woods. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#paranormal-romance #supernatural #humor

Rachel knew what she was doing. And when she didn't, she could improvise on the fly, coming up with options that left a lot of collateral damage but usually only hurt herself, not the people around her. It was one of the things he would never admit that he admired about her. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#into-the-woods #jenks #paranormal #rachel-morgan #romance

Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum." I held up my arms in protest. "You're all racist. Now shut up. We'll call him Taco von Precious of Svenenstein. There, everybody happy?" "Isn't von the same thing as of?" Frank asked. "Wouldn't that be kind of redundant?" "You're redundant," I said. ↗

— Lish McBride

#paranormal-fiction #young-adult #humor

I will take a serious approach to a subject usually treated lightly, which is a nerdy thing to do. ↗

— Benjamin Nugent

#geek #humor #nerd #non-fiction #humor

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. ↗

— Edith Sitwell

#i #i wish #incompetent #pianos #put

What do you think dignity's all about?' The directness of the inquiry did, I admit, take me rather by surprise. 'It's rather a hard thing to explain in a few words, sir,' I said. 'But I suspect it comes down to not removing one's clothing in public. ↗

— Kazuo Ishiguro

#honor #humor #integrity #respect #symbolism

Ginny, listen . . . I can’t be involved with you anymore. We’ve got to stop seeing each other. We can’t be together.” “It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #noble #humor