#oil

I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and stomps across my ceiling to megaphone the kids awake. The kids drop bags of cannonballs onto the floor, then, apparently dragging several sledgehammers each, stampede into the kitchen. They grab their chunks of baguette and go and sit in front of the TV, which is always showing a cartoon about people who do nothing but scream at each other and explode. Every minute, one of the kids cartwheels (while bouncing cannonballs) back into the kitchen for seconds, then returns (bringing with it a family of excitable kangaroos) to the TV. Meanwhile the toilet is flushed, on average, fifty times per drop of urine expelled. Finally, there is a ten-minute period of intensive yelling, and at 8:15 on the dot they all howl and crash their way out of the apartment to school.” (p.137) ↗

— Stephen Clarke

#bed #cannonball #cartoon #cartwheel #ceiling

I came running down the stairs that morning, like it was Christmas. My parents were already up. In my family, presents never waited; they were there upon waking. Our family has a problem with what they called delayed gratification. We want what we want when we want it, and we always want it now. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#ennui #spoiled #want #wealth #family

You'd like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn't you, Comrade Sergeant?' said Reg encouragingly. 'I'd like a hard-boiled egg,' said Vimes, shaking the match out. There was some nervous laughter, but Reg looked offended. 'In the circumstances, Sergeant, I think we should set our sights a little higher--' 'Well, yes, we could,' said Vimes, coming down the steps. He glanced at the sheets of papers in front of Reg. The man cared. He really did. And he was serious. He really was. 'But...well, Reg, tomorrow the sun will come up again, and I'm pretty sure that whatever happens we won't have found Freedom, and there won't be a whole lot of Justice, and I'm damn sure we won't have found Truth. But it's just possible that I might get a hard-boiled egg. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#freedom #hard-boiled-egg #justice #realism #revolution

Yeah...I finally understood it... That exchanging information... Sharing time... The act of "let's go to the bathroom together" was the holy ritual of confirming one's friendship... Until now I was an idiot doing stupid things. ↗

— Taishi Zaou

#friendship #toilet #friendship

A Kiss is a terrible name for a piece of chocolate shaped like a water droplet, because kisses are hot and would melt chocolate—even if it is wearing an astronaut suit made out of tinfoil.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#chocolate #funny #humor #kiss #melt

If London is a watercolor, New York is an oil painting. ↗

— Peter Shaffer

#new #new york #oil #painting #watercolor

I don’t like crude oil, because it’s so vulgar. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #oil #vulgar #funny

No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #toilet #humor

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head... ↗

— Bill Cosby

#humor #thinking #toilet #humor

The soil is the great connector of lives, the source and destination of all. It is the healer and restorer and resurrector, by which disease passes into health, age into youth, death into life. Without proper care for it we can have no community, because without proper care for it we can have no life. ↗

— Wendell Berry

#farming #soil #age