#on

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. ↗

— George Carlin

#dark #forecast #tonight #weather

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. ↗

— George Carlin

#answers #i #myself #only #reason

Let me tell you I am better acquainted with you for a long absence, as men are with themselves for a long affliction: absence does but hold off a friend, to make one see him the truer. ↗

— Ovid

#acquainted #affliction #am #better #does

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ↗

— George Carlin

#fired #get #hard #just #money

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ↗

— George Carlin

#could #english #english language #i #i am

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. ↗

— George Carlin

#language #large #tool #truth

For about seven years. I really like it there. There are a lot of great musicians. The scene is very open. A lot of stuff going on. People's ears are really open, they are not closed. A lot of scenes here, people just get tunnel vision and are into one thing. ↗

— John Zorn

#closed #ears #get #going #great

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. ↗

— George Carlin

#did #going #i #know #only

I still feel like no one knows who I am. I still feel anonymous. ↗

— Richard Karn

#anonymous #feel #i #i am #knows

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? ↗

— George Carlin

#always #day #got #haven #how