#or

I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #humor

Babe! ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #humor

In every friendship hearts grow and entwine themselves together, so that the two hearts seem to make only one heart with only a common thought. That is why separation is so painful; it is not so much two hearts separating, but one being torn asunder. ↗

— Fulton J. Sheen

#friendship #intimacy #separation #friendship

Every time I annoy him he retreats into his No Mundanes Allowed tree house." Simon pointed at Jace. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Shigure: JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR A SECOND, KYO! Kyo: SHUT UP! I HATE THIS! DO YOU REALLY GET THAT MUCH ENJOYMENT FROM PLAYING WITH PEOPLES' LIVES?! Shigure: Well, yes, now that you mention it, I do--BUT THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! Kyo: Man, your persuasion skills SUCK! Tohru: Um, welcome home. Dinner's- Kyo: NOT HUNGRY! Shigure: KYO! DON'T TAKE THIS OUT ON TOHRU! And come back to the entrance hall this instant and take those shoes off! Yuki: He's right, Shigure. You really do suck at persuasion. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#persuasion #humor

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you. ↗

— Brendan Behan

#eat #get #important #important things #love

Bite me, Harry Potter. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

I'm trying to make some sense out of the phrase "Everything happens for a reason," and I think I've figured out what the reason is - to pissed me off. ↗

— Cecelia Ahern

#humor

The meeting was like a war council with donuts. Then again, back at Camp Half-Blood they used to have their most serious discussions around the Ping-Pong table in the rec room with crackers and Cheez Whiz, so Percy felt right at home. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #percy-jackson #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-mark-of-athena #war-council

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #reading #humor