#bar

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. ↗

— Lisi Harrison

#food #social-barriers #food

Our standard rate. A doubloon a day." It was generous. More than generous--some families would put him up for a week for a single coin. "Half a doubloon a day," she said. "No, you see, the idea behind bargaining is that you ask for a larger amount. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#declan #ilona-andrews #on-the-edge #rose #family

Travis: The Aphrodite kids were ripping each other’s clothes and throwing lipstick and jewellery. It was like a rabid herd of wild Bratz. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#pranks #travis-barker #funny

David tells me that fairies never say 'We feel happy': what they say is, 'We feel dancey'. ↗

— J.M. Barrie

#david #fairy #fantasy #funny #happy

Once when I had remarked on the affection quite often found between cat and dog, my friend replied, "Yes. But I bet no dog would ever confess it to the other dogs. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#dogs #embarrassment #friendship #friendship

Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything... ↗

— Clive Barker

#absolute-midnight #clive-barker #time #wasted-time #funny

It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction. ↗

— Woody Allen

#christina #vicky #funny

So my one kid's 4, my other kid's 4 months, I'm 44, Barack Obama is the 44th president - it's all lining up nicely here. ↗

— Eddie Vedder

#barack obama #here #i #kid #lining

The hand on my hair moved to my back, and I realized someone was singing softly. The voice was familiar, and something about it made my chest ache. Well, that was to be expected. Angels' songs would be awfully poignant. "'I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you...'" the voice crooned. I frowned. Was that really an appropriate song for the Heavenly Host to be-- ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#cocktail-bar #grace #hex-hall #humor #mom

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind... ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#cocktails #drinks #humor #sex #humor