#or

All of Dragos’s sentinels were mean and barbaric and sexy. Even that weird harpy-bitch Aryal, who she might have a teensy girl crush on. You know, in a totally hetero kind of way. ↗

— Thea Harrison

#harpy #humor #humor

He stepped colser. Looked deep into my eyes. Hesitated a millisecond, and then dove in. "I think I'm falling in love with you." Oh. No. "Cole--" "I know how you feel. About me. About him. I just wanted you to know-we could be good together. We could have a life. Kids. Vacations. On Sunday mornings I could serve you breakfast in bed." He gave me his I-know-you-find-me-irrestible grin. "And then I could make you something to eat. ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#love #humor

Son of a bitch!” Hunter stared. “I fucking hate it when he does shit like that. That man has a supernatural relationship with gravity. ↗

— Pamela Clare

#humor

I spent the next fifteen minutes convincing a crying werewolf that I wasn’t going to hurt her. My life was getting too strange, even for me. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor #humor

You're missing the point! ... We could make it rain cupcakes from the sky! Raspberry-jam pies would grow on trees, and chocolate rabbits would poop chocolate buttons! ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#humor

You know, my main goal in life is trying not to end up in a straightjacket. ↗

— Tom Upton

#young-adult #humor

It's perfectly normal that extraordinary things happen to me. I'm an exceptional person. Oh, don't think I'm boasting. I mean to say that, unfortunately, I'm exceptional and that, unfortunately, I can't live by the rules. I must make my own. ↗

— Cocteau

#humor #people #humor

You know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work? - Medicine. ↗

— Tim Minchin

#humor #pseudoscience #quackery #scepticism #humor

Twinkle the Destroyer wasn't alone, it seemed. There were more gnomes than I thought. Pip the Bringer of Pain, Chauncey the Devourer of Souls, Cuddly the Inexplicable, Gnoman Polanski, Pith the Bitey, Gnome ChompSky, Gnomie Malone, Chuck the Norriser- the list went on. 'It's like a mishmash of violent imagery, TV, an political references' 'I told you they like TV. I'm not sure the understand everything they see, though, so they don't fully grasp what they're stealing their names from. Like, I think Gnome ChompSky just thought it sounded tough and Chuck the Norriser came from watching too many episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger. They believe Chuck Norris is a demigod' 'Who doesn't? ↗

— Lish McBride

#humor

Is this a game? We just blurt out whatever word comes next to mind? In that case mine's 'genuphobia'. It means an unreasonable fear of knees." "What's the word for a perfectly reasonable fear of annoying idiots?" inqired Jessamine. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #humor