#or

And so the Universe ended. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor

Goodness, Will, if you keep seeing Six-Fingered Nigel like this, he'll expect you to declare your intentions." -Tessa ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#six-fingered-nigel #tessa #humor

Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

Always mystify, torture, mislead, and surprise the audience as much as possible. ↗

— Don Roff

#humor #torture #writing #humor

She glanced down at the contents of her plate. Just tell him what it is. Simple. Look at it and say what it is. "Sloppy Joe," she managed. "Hmm," he said, sounding doubtful. "May he rest in peace. ↗

— Kelly Creagh

#humor #isobel #lunch #sloppy-joe #varen

Electricity is really just organized lighting ↗

— George Carlin

#electricity #freedom #humor #lightning #perspective

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#funny-as-hell #funny-quotes #funny-stuff #humor #humor-work

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #ideas #random #funny

You hit me again," I said, growing oddly annoyed. "Ya think?" Evil Riggs said. Smart-ass. "Part of my brain hurts. I demand to know what that part of my brain is called and what its job is. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humour #humor

Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. "Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cahill #humor #rare #sarcasm #humor