#our

And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#grammar #grammar-humor #humor #humour #science-fiction

When we did eventually get to the party - me walking next to Dad's Volvo driving at five miles an hour - I had a horrible time. Everyone laughed at first but then more or less ignored me. In a mood of defiant stuffed oliveness I did have a dance by myself but things kept crashing to the floor around me. The host asked if I would sit down. I had a go at that but it was useless. In the end I was at the gate for about an hour before Dad arrived. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor #humour #stuffed-oliveness #humor

And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying. ↗

— Dylan Moran

#dylan #funk-soul-brother #humor #humour #moran

Charm is often despised but I can never see why. No one has it who isn't capable of genuinely liking others, at least at the actual moment of meeting and speaking. Charm is always genuine; it may be superficial but it isn't false. ↗

— P.D. James

#false #genuine #humor #humour #theo

What in god’s name happened to your nuts?” “They met a jet-powered water hose.” He grimaced. “They’re already healing.” A rare glint of amusement lit Lawrence’s eyes. “You have balls of steel.” “You have inappropriate humour. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humor #humour #nuts #torture #humor

You cannot, it seems, let children run about the streets. People who have seen them running wild in Russia say that the sight is not a pleasant one. ↗

— Virginia Woolf

#humour #humor

Has she glanced you way yet?" Twice," Nick said on a note of satisfaction. Meaning?" Nick glanced at him. "She's not completely disinterested." I see Moreland. That makes it an even half dozen hanging out for a rich wife. Four looking for their second. Rossman, the old satyr, certainly isn't likely to be much competition. What in the hell does he think he's doing anyway? He must be sixty." Basking, I should think. She hasn't given him the cold shoulder yet," Nick responded coolly. ↗

— Jaide Fox

#courting #humor #romance #humor

I'm very much afraid I didn't mean anything but nonsense. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humour #reality #humor

Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humour #life #philosophy #wisdom #wisdom-quote

I remembered that Beethoven's symphonies had sometimes been given names... they should have call [the Fifth] the Vampire, because it simply refused to lie down and die. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#humor #humour #music #symphonies #humor