#ow

Oh, goodie," Puck said as I stepped forward. "I'm going to have a rash in the most uncomfortable places. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#puck #robin-goodfellow #humor

Mastering the art of seduction gives one a great power, and like any power, it's to be wielded with responsibility; a man who wields the art of seduction without a sense of responsibility and restraint is a walking proximity bomb of viral epidemics, needless procreation, heartbroken families, and shattered dreams. ↗

— Mike Norton

#bomb #heartbreak #heartbroken #mastery #power

If you have to fight a crowd of boys, it's best to go for the biggest one. That way you won't have to fight them all. The others will see that you mean business and you will win their respect. ↗

— Suzanne Vega

#biggest #business #crowd #fight #go

Now, the impact on export markets - we export about 10 percent of what we produce, so obviously that will probably have some impact on the market. At this point it's too early to determine how much. ↗

— Ann Veneman

#determine #early #export #how #impact

Evelyn: There's nothing wrong with embracing one's emotions. Brittany: Mom, You don't just embrace your emotions, you make love to them hard-core. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#gena-showalter #humor #humor

Get up, you useless lump, get up! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #j-k-rowling #humor

tanith: have you called the police? fergus: they, uh, they said theyd call by this afternoon. tanith: tell them not to bother... im his doctor. beryl: what kind of doctor dresses in brown leather? tanith: the kind that looks good init ↗

— Derek Landy

#tanith-low #humor

I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan mail. . . . Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly. . . . I just wish I knew why. . . .” He paused, looking faintly puzzled, then beamed again and returned to his signing with renewed vigor. “I suspect it is simply my good looks. . . . ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#gilderoy #harry-potter #humor #lockehart #rowling

Earth,” he began, ignoring the impulse to open his notes folder and count the words. He knew this lecture by heart. “Our home. She feeds us, she shelters us. Her gravity prevents us from flying off into space and freezing, before thawing out again and being crisped by the sun, none of which really matters, as we would have long since asphyxiated.” Artemis paused for laughter and was surprised when it did not arrive. “That was a little joke. I read in a presentation manual that a joke often serves to break the ice. And I actually worked icebreaking into the joke, so there were layers to my humor. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#facepalm-humor #humor

Positive belief in yourself will give you the energy needed to conquer the world and this belief is the power behind all creation. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#mind-body-spirit #mind-power #money #motivational #new-age