#pa

Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. ↗

— Ben Hecht

#determine #going #hand #like #newspapers

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#backpack #being #bring #day #down

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#like #pancake #syrup #trap #waffle

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero? ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#down #happening #hero #hold #holds

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#eat #how #hungry #i #i am

Honest to God, all my life I have had such a fear of spiders. In fact, I use to have a reoccurring dream about one. Very clearly, it was black with a red head. It would sit up in the corner of the bedroom and when it started getting closer, I would wake up in a panic. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#bedroom #black #clearly #closer #corner

I didn't think any amount of money was worth something that would take away what you believed in or what you stood for. I didn't want to do something my parents and daughter couldn't be proud of. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#any #away #believed #daughter #i

I have a strong Lutheran background, and my parents instilled in me strong morals. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#i #instilled #me #morals #parents

My parents are wonderful people and they instilled in me an idealism for which I'm grateful. ↗

— Hugh Hefner

#i #idealism #instilled #me #parents

In fact, I think I have had a ghost in my house. Although not active lately, unexplainable things would happen and the kitties were particularly sensitive - especially, Marlon Brando... the cat not the man. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#although #brando #cat #especially #fact