#rang

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
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— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

I grew up listening to Queen. They were no stranger to throwing in the unexpected and something a little more dramatic. ↗

— Carrie Underwood

#grew #i #listening #little #more

All living things contain a measure of madness that moves them in strange, sometimes inexplicable ways. ↗

— Yann Martel

#strange #life

You learn to forgive (the South) for its narrow mind and growing pains because it has a huge heart. You forgive the stifling summers because the spring is lush and pastel sprinkled, because winter is merciful and brief, because corn bread and sweet tea and fried chicken are every bit as vital to a Sunday as getting dressed up for church, and because any southerner worth their salt says please and thank you. It's soft air and summer vines, pine woods and fat homegrown tomatoes. It's pulling the fruit right off a peach tree and letting the juice run down your chin. It's a closeted and profound appreciation for our neighbors in Alabama who bear the brunt of the Bubba jokes. The South gets in your blood and nose and skin bone-deep. I am less a part of the South than it is part of me. It's a romantic notion, being overcome by geography. But we are all a little starry-eyed down here. We're Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara and Rosa Parks all at once. ↗

— Amanda Kyle Williams

#the-stranger-you-seek #forgiveness

A blanket could be used to say I’m sorry without using words, gestures, body language, facial expressions, or telepathy. I’ve always thought it was better to show than tell anyway, so I hope you can forgive me.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’ll name my firstborn child Squiblob, after his mother. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #mother #strange #funny

Christians walk as strangers in the world: They are untamed. They are free. To persevere with love, yet untamed by man, is often what leaves that open space for divine revelation when God so wills. ↗

— Criss Jami

#apologetics #christianity #christians #divine #divine-intervention

It is better to die fighting than to die on your knees. ↗

— Emiliano Zapata

#ruby-emam #samad-beh-rang #the-little-black-fish #freedom

His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #funny #hilarious #humor #introduction