#rick

Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body. ↗

— Lady Gaga

#dead #house #humor #lady-gaga #love

Don't blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there's this new club called civilization and you guys should join. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor #hush-hush #vee-sky #humor

Frank stared at her. "But you throw Ding Dongs at monsters." Iris looked horrified. "Oh, they're not Ding Dongs." She rummaged under the counter and brought out a package of chocolate covered cakes that looked exactly like Ding Dongs. "These are gluten-free, no-sugar-added, vitamin-enriched, soy-free, goat-milk-and-seaweed-based cupcake simulations." "All natural!" Fleecy chimed in. "I stand corrected." Frank suddenly felt as queasy as Percy. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #iris #percy-jackson #rick-riordan #humor

If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#rick-riordan #humor

Remember what to do when you're at the bottom of a hole? You've got to stop digging. ↗

— Carolyn Mackler

#love

Speaking of Vaughan, his claim in the Daily Telegraph last week that the story of a senior county pro being offered money to fix domestic matches was 'the tip of the iceberg' did not go down well with one former England captain contacted by the Top Spin. 'I played the game for almost 20 years,' he seethed, 'and I don't know a single player who has been offered money, either for information or to fix a game. To say it's the tip of the iceberg is absolute rubbish.' The fact that the player in question had just registered a mediocre Stableford score of 20 playing off a handicap of 14 had nothing to do, I was assured, with his foul mood. ↗

— Lawrence Booth

#match-fixing #michael-vaughan #money

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #humor #random

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

I could stay living in this city if they just installed Blaupunkts in the cabs. ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#patrick-bateman #humor

If you look at it from any other side, it looks like a pile of enormous deer droppings, but Chiron wouldn't let us call the place the Poop Pile, especially after it had been named for Zeus, who doesn't have much of a sense of humor. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#rick-riordan #the-titan-s-curse #zeus #humor