#rid

I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon. Hagrid seized his pink umbrella and whirled it over his head "NEVER -" he thundered "- INSULT -ALBUS -DUMBLEDORE - IN - FRONT - OF - ME! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hagrid #humor #uncle-vernon #humor

Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride - where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation. ↗

— Jane Austen

#mr-darcy #pride #humor

It was heaven. Forget angels, forget St. Peter and glittering harpsichords. Heaven was a dance in the arms of one's true love. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #romance #love

As he left Chinatown behind, Alan thought of the woman he’d seen on the wharf the other day, the golden splendor of her gown, her glossy hair and the turbulent emotion in her eyes. He wondered what she was doing right now and if she’d found happiness in her new home. ↗

— Bonnie Dee

#bonnie-dee #captive-bride #home

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? ↗

— Steven Wright

#riddle #humor

It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is? ↗

— Amy Neftzger

#drinking #friday #humor #humorous #margarita

Jem spoke with enormous care; talking to Will about anything personal was like trying not to startle away a wild animal. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#on-the-bridge #will-herondale #will-herondale

He had even read Pride and Prejudice--although he had thought that many of the heroine's problems would have been solved if someone had simply strangled her mother. ↗

— Lynn Viehl

#pride-and-prejudice #humor

Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another. ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#ball #formal #funny #hair #high-school

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it." (Letter to Étienne Noël Damilaville, May 16, 1767) ↗

— Voltaire

#humor #prayers #religion #ridicule #satire