#ridiculous

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world. ↗

— Edmond de Goncourt

#else #hears #more #museum #opinions

I used to go to Vegas and play the horses, and then I realised how ridiculous that was. There is no winning in gambling, but there is on the stock market. ↗

— Josh Brolin

#go #horses #how #i #market

Don''t headbutt the sun, idiot. ↗

— Wheezywaiter

#obvious #ridiculous #humor

I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#customer-service #love #ridiculous #work #love

Dear Ford, I think my Ford Explorer door is broken. It just won’t close. I think this is because I don’t have the rest of the Explorer, I only have the door. It’s a passenger-side door, and I bought it from a passenger. Also, it doesn’t seem to be able to lock. I think the latch isn’t catching, or something. I think it’s missing some crucial parts, and I’d like to order them from you. I need: one frame, four wheels, a body, another door, an engine, a steering wheel, and some of those air fresheners that you stick in the vents. And I’m feeling frisky with my money, so let me go ahead and order some brakes while I’m at it. You can send the bill to the Pizza Hut on San Jose Boulevard. They’ll just deliver it to me, along with the pizza I just ordered. Thank you, Jarod Kintz ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#e-mail #ford #funny #humor #ridiculous

If anyone else asked that question, O He Who Is Terrible and Great, I would have said they were an ignorant fool; in you it is a sign of the disarming simplicity which is the fount of all virtue. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#ignorance #ridiculous #sucking-up #simplicity

I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cherry #knot #nonsense #ridiculous

Celebrity is ridiculous and silly and it's mad that people like me are listened to - you know, rap stars and movie stars. ↗

— Bono

#know #like #listened #mad #me

Ridiculous yachts and private planes and big limousines won't make people enjoy life more, and it sends out terrible messages to the people who work for them. It would be so much better if that money was spent in Africa - and it's about getting a balance. ↗

— Richard Branson

#africa #balance #better #big #enjoy

We confess our bad qualities to others out of fear of appearing naive or ridiculous by not being aware of them. ↗

— Gerald Brenan

#aware #bad #being #confess #fear