#romance

I’m trying to decide whether to tell you two to get a room or go barf in the trash can,” Emma said. “I’m leaning toward the second choice. You are both getting way too weird. And gross.” Cal barked out a laugh and slid his fingers down my arm to entwine with mine. His touch, and Emma’s comments, only made me blush more. Looks like Emma saw Cal lick my face after all. Now that wasn’t awkward or anything. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#emma #funny #legend-of-witchtrot-road #paranormal-romance #quirky

Sadly, however, the sight of her generous D cups no longer sparked an ounce of interest from Little Sam, the man in charge of social activities. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#humour #romance #funny

[Lizzie Bennington to a reporter who has asked for her opinion about Jack Archer's celebrated thighs.] “When you come back from a set down and bring the match to a final set tiebreak and are a point away from winning the match, only to have what looks like an extremely fit player call a time out because of a cramp and then watch that player sit back and casually converse and laugh while you do your best to keep your mental focus and your body moving so you don’t grow cold and cramp yourself, I hardly think you’d concern yourself with his burgeoning manhood, let alone his thighs! ↗

— A.G. Starling

#contemporary-romance #funny #game #lizzie-bennet #love

The hotness of a sex scene lies in the loins of the beholder. ↗

— J.Leigh Hunter

#erotica-romance #humor #romance-funny #romance-novels #sex

Tell them I have the headache--no, the plague! I need something nice and contagious. ↗

— Lauren Willig

#humorous-quotations #mystery #humor

With his eyes and those hands there won't be a woman safe in all the world when he starts hunting after the ladies.' 'Courting, dear,' my father corrected gently. 'Semantics,' she shrugged. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#courtship #humor #humour #kingkiller-chronicle #kvothe

I'll take Classic 69 and semen-swapping for $300 ↗

— Damon Suede

#humor #humor

Did you let him know that if he can't see fit to return your blow job immediately, you will have no choice but to sue? ↗

— Meg Cabot

#inspirational #romance #humor

He pulled away the glove, and at the first glimpse of her fragile, white hand, all thoughts of negotiation fled. "I don't see how matters could become worse," he muttered. "I am already besotted with a needle-tongued, conceited, provoking ape leader of a lady." Her head jerked up. "Besotted? You're nothing like it. Vengeful is more like it. Spiteful. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#jessica-trent #romance #humor

Lady Ponsonby was right. The forbidden fruit isn't shaped like an apple. It's shaped like a banana. ↗

— Michelle Marcos

#humor #romance #humor