#romance

As I nodded and smiled and umm-hmm'd and oh, my'd my way down the drive, I wondered if boys had any sort of magazine that told them how to attract women and, if so, did it ever tell them to put the girls' interests first? ↗

— Jennifer Donnelly

#romance #humor

Gotten butt-ass, bone-dog naked for your vadge-cam?" Dante offered with an angelic smile, standing close. "Fucking hell, D." Griff turned to Beth with an apology, but she spoke first. "Huh-yeah. Thanks, cockbreath. ↗

— Damon Suede

#gay-romance #humor #humor

I'm a big believer in first impressions," he finally said. "Tell me what your first thought was when Jason walked into the courtroom." Taylor took a sip of her drink and grinned. This one was easy. "I vowed to hate him forever." Jeremy's brown eyes twinkled at this. "That's exactly what I said nineteen years ago, five minutes after he first walked into our dorm room. ↗

— Julie James

#humor #romance #humor

I wouldn't yell 'fire' at that slimeball if his ass was in flames. ↗

— Victoria Dahl

#romance #humor

I chose the path less traveled but only because I was lost. Carry a map. - Phoebe Traeger ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#romance #humor

I’m out of health potions. Retreat! Retreat! Give me some of your health potions!” I screamed. “I don’t have any potions. Run, bitch, run,” Brody squealed. The red ran out on my health and my assassin was transported, stripped of everything we’d earned, back to the starting camp. “I’m dead! Fuck, they killed me! ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#romance #humor

Snowball?" It's white." Meow." It's so girly." This from a guy who named his poodle Princess." his laughter died. "How do you know about Princess?" Your sister told me. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #romance #humor

Michael nodded tersely, eyeing a table across the room. It was empty. So empty. So joyfully, blessedly empty. He could picture himself a very happy man at that table. "Not feeling very conversational this evening, are we?" Colin asked, breaking into his (admittedly tame) fantasies. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #julia-quinn #romance #humor

People complain because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses because I have finally learned not to pick them the next time around. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#love #relationships #romance #friendship

Phrase the question any way you like…The answer will still be ‘Kiss my ass. ↗

— M.A. George

#kiss-my-ass #paranormal-romance #sarcastic-humor #humor