#s

All sins are forgiven once you start making a lot of money. ↗

— RuPaul

#money #past #present #sins #thought

An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor #humour #retort #humor

Any idiot can be liked. It takes talent to scare the crap out of people"- ↗

— Alison Arngrim

#memiors #humor

Just-fucked hair doesn't suit me. ↗

— E.L. James

#humor

It's so shameful of me: I like you. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

You know, I preferred you as an evil monk. Would have made killing you a whole lot easier. ↗

— Chris d'Lacey

#firestar #humor #killing #magic #monks

I know by now you think I should have straightened myself out - Thank you, drop dead! ↗

— Morrissey

#life #lyrics #music #humor

Nothing but good times ahead. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#inspirational #humor

It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#hamlet #hesitation #humor #jeeves #shakespeare

A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#misery #moroseness #subconscious #humor