#sm

Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #orgy #sarcasm #humor

It's a token for the arcade games at Laser Sport Time!" Dan hissed. "Uncle Alistair doesn't think so," Amy murmured. "He's a numismatist." "He takes his clothes off in public?" Dan said. ↗

— Peter Lerangis

#dan-cahill #humor #numismatist #humor

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

Father said I have no sense of humor at all. He said I was unequipped to meet life because I have no sense of humor. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#humor

It is simple impertinence for any man, or any body of men, to begin, or to contemplate, reform of the whole world. ↗

— Mahatma Gandhi

#men

Everyone is so cynical about the possibility of democracy today. But not me, I’m an idealist: democracy isn’t possible outside my own mind. According to my perceptions, this is a dictatorship. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#democracy #funny #humor #idealism #politics

Anticipatory plagiarism occurs when someone steals your original idea and publishes it a hundred years before you were born. ↗

— Robert K. Merton

#plagiarism #humor

I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I need is fascism to complete the set. I’m looking to trade my dusty democracy, but Uncle Sam isn’t interested in a deal at this time. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#collections #collectivism #communism #democracy #fascism

Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country. ↗

— George W. Bush

#humor #lesbian-doctor #love #obgyn #humor

You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right...you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean ↗

— Jeff Mariotte

#humor #sarcasm #science-fiction #humor