#stick

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No we did not. Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No we did not have a good day. Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day! What? Jeff: Did you have a good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: A good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa. Peanut: I took him to the spa! Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer. Peanut: It's the same thing!!! ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#humor #jeff-dunham #jose-jalapeno-on-a-stick #peanut #humor

You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last present you gave me was a stick.” “You wanted a weapon.” “It was a stick.” “It had a bow on it.” “It was a stick.” “I thought you liked the stick. You laughed. ↗

— Derek Landy

#presents #skulduggery-pleasant #stick #valkyrie-cain #weapon

I postulate that there is something stickier than semen. That substance is love.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#semen #sticky #love

Oh, come on Em." He stopped walking and looked me in the eyes. His own were dark and shiny. "You know how I feel about you," he muttered. "I do?" He stepped closer and whispered, "When you're around, music plays in my head." My eyes welled. "Music," I repeated softly. "Well, you know." He grinned. "It's the Jaws theme. Da dum. Da dum. ↗

— Jennifer Jabaley

#humour #lipstick #music

Why would you want to stand there waving a stick when you could be playing an instrument? ↗

— Nigel Kennedy

#instrument #playing #stand #stick #want

A few years ago, kids from poor areas in France were asked to draw items of food. For a chicken, they drew a drumstick. For a fish, they drew a fish stick. Those are extremes, but there is a lot that needs to be done to help children discover good food. ↗

— Joel Robuchon

#areas #asked #chicken #children #discover

I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry, like, one girl, 'cause we're resistant the whole way until we meet one girl and we think I'd be an idiot if I didn't marry this girl she's so great. But it seems like girls get to a place where they just kinda pick the best option... 'Oh he's got a good job.' I mean they spend their whole life looking for Prince Charming and then they marry the guy who's got a good job and is gonna stick around. ↗

— Blue Valentine

#girl #guy #life #love #married

God would not bring you through a Red Sea and turn around and allow you to perish in a fish pond. ↗

— Johnnie Dent Jr.

#inspirational #perserverance #stick-to-itiveness #stick-to-your-gut #winning-and-losing

We on our part will stick to our independent foreign policy of peace, acting forever as a strong defender of world peace and a persistent proponent of common development. ↗

— Jinato Hu

#common #defender #development #foreign #foreign policy

When I have to choose between voting for the people or the special interests, I always stick with the special interests. They remember. The people forget. ↗

— Henry F. Ashurst

#between #choose #for the people #forget #i