#ted

Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics-of-the-united-states #funny

You know, unrequited love is very difficut? It's not just having this one-sided love of someone who's far away. Being close, talking daily, liking a guy who's constantly near me is harder than it would be under different circumstances. ↗

— Park So Hee

#love

Besides, unrequited love is one of those things that all teen-agers have to go through, right? ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#unrequited-love #love

Which is when I decided I would never love anyone again because you just felt like an idiot when you put love out there and it didn't come back your way. ↗

— Karen Tayleur

#idiot #love #unrequited-love #love

A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call it a tarp, but I’d call it a trap. But I’ve already tried everything I can think of to silence the noisy neighbor kids, from mousetraps on lollipop sticks, to superglue disguised as lip gloss—and yet the shrieking continues.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

The results of each Brick and Blanket test are so unique to each person that I’d be willing to bet (with your money, of course) that if you lined up two monozygotic twins, two clones of John Cleese, and Newton and Leibniz, no pair of answers would be identical. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

She was with me. She did all of those things and so many more, things I would never tell anyone, and she never even loved me. Now that’s love. ↗

— Jonathan Safran Foer

#jonathan-safran-foer #love

We cannot know for certain how long we have here. We cannot foresee the trials or misfortunes that will test us along the way. We cannot know God's plan for us. What we can do is to live out our lives as best we can with purpose, and love, and joy. We can use each day to show those who are closest to us how much we care about them, and treat others with the kindness and respect that we wish for ourselves. We can learn from our mistakes and grow from our failures. And we can strive at all costs to make a better world, so that someday, if we are blessed with the chance to look back on our time here, we can know that we spent it well; that we made a difference; that our fleeting presence had a lasting impact on the lives of other human beings. ↗

— Barack Obama

#love

An old joke has an Oxford professor meeting an American former graduate student and asking him what he's working on these days. 'My thesis is on the survival of the class system in the United States.' 'Oh really, that's interesting: one didn't think there was a class system in the United States.' 'Nobody does. That's how it survives. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#humour #joke #united-states #united-states

The United States themselves are essentially the greatest poem. ↗

— Walt Whitman

#greatest #poem #states #themselves #united