#th

I just want you to know,' said the girl, coldly, 'that whoever you are and whatever you intend with me, I shall give you no aid of any kind, nor shall I assist you, and I shall do whatever is in my power to frustrate your plans and devices.' And then she added, with feeling, 'Idiot. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#the-star #humor

Hi, this is Ganymede, cup-bearer to Zeus, and when I'm out buying wine for the Lord of the Skies, I always buckle up! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#greek #humor #mythology #public-service-announcement #safety

Reality is shaped by the forces that destroy it. ↗

— D. Harlan Wilson

#fantasy #horror #humor #literary #postmodern

That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dressed up in a cheap fur coat. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#humor #humor

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens. ↗

— Ricky Gervais

#humor #humor

At the end of the warehouse was a dais constructed from pallets of books: stack of vampire novels, walls of James Patterson thrillers, and a throne from about a thousand copies of something called The Five Habits of Highly Aggressive Women. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-son-of-neptune #humor

Never touch my brother on his fucking birthday. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #thomas-raith #humor

riley: give me a romantic comedy any day. rhoan: your jest a girly-girl at heart, arent you? riley: takes one to know one, bro. ↗

— Keri Arthur

#humor #keri #masculinity #rhoan #riley

When you feel like throwing rocks, make sure they're ones no one can throw back. ↗

— Rebecca McKinsey

#boldness #humor #words #wordsmithing #humor

I think therapy is a rather misguided notion of capitalist societies whereby the self-indulgent examination of one's life supersedes the actual living of said life. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#therapy #humor