#th

I ignored him, concentrating on Lilith. "According to the stories, after you were expelled from Eden you went down into Hell, where you coupled with demons and gave birth to all the monsters that have plagued the world." "I was young," said Lilith. "You know how it is. We all do things we later regret, when we're being rebellious teenagers. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#lilith #monsters #rebellion #teenagers #humor

I point out truths when I see them, Brightlord Sadeas. Each man has his place. Mine is to make insults. Yours is to be in-sluts. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#philandering #truth #humor

So this was where lust was satisfied. If I'd been an old-time miner I'd have asked for my gold nugget back. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#brothels #disappointment #humor #humor

I learned early and at that kitchen table that there are ways of avoiding, without guilt, the commitments of love. ↗

— P.D. James

#humor #humour #love #theo #humor

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think. ↗

— Edgar Johnson

#satire #thinking #humor

I believe my life has a value, and i don't want to waste it thinking about clothing. I don't want to think about what i will wear in the morning. Truly, can you imagine anything more boring than fashion? ↗

— Michael Crichton

#boring #clothes #fashion #humor #rant

...to go to a dance with a guy who has all the personality of a serial killer mixed with a sponge. ↗

— J.A. Beard

#humor #the-emerald-city #witty-comebacks #humor

Deep spirit scanning,” Eisfanger says. His voice has a strange resonance to it, like I’m hearing him through a bad phone connection. “Don’t worry, it’s completely safe. Well, mostly.” “Mostly?” “Side effects have been documented,” he admits. “In a very small percentage of cases. Less than two percent.” “What kind of side effects?” Suddenly I’m feeling nauseous. Feels like the ants are crawling around inside me now, which is exactly as disturbing as it sounds. “Memory loss. Synesthesia. And occasionally … vestigial growths.” “So I could forget my own name, start smelling purple everywhere and have an extra nipple sprout from my forehead? ↗

— D.D. Barant

#memory-loss #nipple #side-effects #synesthesia #humor

Of course, if 40% of women need oxytocin to progress normally, then something is wrong with the definition of normal. ↗

— Henci Goer

#doctor #humor #statistics #humor

My father would argue two side of a möbius strip. ↗

— Dan Brown

#math-humor #science-humor #humor