#the

Bad pony-men! BOO! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cyclopes #cyclops #heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lead at the BookWorld Awards seventy-seven times in a row? Me. All me. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #wuthering-heights #humor

Kinzie smiled smugly. “You admire our base of operations? Yes, our distribution system is worldwide. It took many years and most of our fortune to build. Now, finally, we’re turning a profit. The mortals don’t realize they are funding the Amazon kingdom. Soon, we’ll be richer than any mortal nation. Then—when the weak mortals depend on us for everything—the revolution will begin!” “What are you going to do?” Frank grumbled. “Cancel free shipping? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#amazons #frank-zhang #humor #kinzie #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

So what if those stupid roosters don't want to crow? If we've learned to live without men, we can learn to live without cocks. ↗

— James Cañón

#humor #james-cañón #magic-realism #mariquita #tales-from-the-town-of-widows

Now I understand why King Stannis let the wildlings through the Wall. He means for us to eat them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #stannis-baratheon #wall #wildlings #humor

[Yankees] are pretty much like southerners except with worse manners, of course, and terrible accents. ↗

— Margaret Mitchell

#rhett-butler-to-scarlett #southerners #yankees #humor

I'm a mother," said her mother, in her foodless flat where the dust did not dare to settle, "and I know what I know. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#mothers #humor

Salander in love. What a fucking joke. ↗

— Stieg Larsson

#lisbeth-salander #millennium-trilogy #stieg-larsson #the-girl-who-played-with-fire #humor

Twelve days wil be heaps of time. You don't want to over-reherse these things, otherwise you lose that rough edge ↗

— Michael Gerard Bauer

#the-razzman #humor

You either trust me or you don't. I've never let you down, and I won't walk away unless you make me. Period. Now, unless you have a real emergency, I'd like to get back to my vacation. And my corpse, thanks. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat-crawfield #catherine-crawfield #funny #humor #jeaniene-frost